Understand the so-called Hard Earn $$

Just back from part time job.. real tiring.. after full time work, work part time. Although kinda sad and dragging but wei le qian, i need endure. Who ask me earn soo little.. ppl looking down on me :( I cant have my dream wedding just becos of $.. nevertheless, less quarrels as i will be busy with the work. sigh~

Today kanna said by auntie.. very sad. I cried tearED since the moment I left her hse, when i was walking home.. it so uncontrollable.. Wanna call my dear to tell him but i noe if i tell him, he will not let me work, will pour wet blanket on me.. thats not the words i wanna hear. ENd up i tear alone all the way back home.

Maybe I'm wrong, but when I have doubt, i called her to ask her. At times she unhappy to ans my call but I still call her when I dono. I feel I got nothing wrong. But, not up to her expectation :( Another thing is when keying a description, for eg: Star International Pte Ltd, she asked me key short form by keying: STAR-Invoice numbers... SO, for the next few companies, i did as I'm told.. eg.: Tan Ah Kow Pte Ltd.. so I keyed TAN-Inv numbers... ENd up she said me indirectly that I don have common sense!! So hurtful :( Sigh~ actually wanna shout out more but damn sad to talk more about it.. now she said (b4 i left) she need check everything what i did.. aka, its doing double work.. sigh~

I really really feel im soo useless..

Full time job - sux.. esp with the OV & CM present..
Part time job - sux.. so tiring and hard to please her, especially I dono wats gg on, ask oso don ustd
Study - sux.. no mood study anyway
Wedding - damn sux.. soo stressed up.. alot alot things not done. ask him send a email need to teach too.. its OUR Wedding, not mine!

For a sudden thought, i wanna die. I feel so useless.. sobsob.. feeling v trouble now..

sigh...